So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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