I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
