just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
