I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So here I am, sexting at work.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
