So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
