Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
