Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
God, I missed his penis.
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