Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
