my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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