I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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