it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
