There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I would fuck him just for his dog
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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