i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
