Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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