from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
