Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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