Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
