His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
