She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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