"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize