I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
