It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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