On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
