..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
