she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
