hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
