Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
