That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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