i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
