Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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