I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
