It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
