so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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