Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
