Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
