I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
