I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
