It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
