I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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