OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
