you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You need Xanax blowdarts
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Enjoy the penises
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
