Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
