I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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