we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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