just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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