I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
