I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
