Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
