i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
