So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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