My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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