kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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