We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
