so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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