What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
